I have a lot of jobs around the house. I hold down papers, so a breeze from the ceiling fan can't blow them away. I hold down pillows, blankets, and furniture. I hold down laptop computers, cell phones, and remote controls. I hold down shoes, socks, and shorts. I can hold down just about any household object. I hold down my people so they don't disappear. I wait silently in another room until I hear the TV turn off. That's the sound of my people getting ready to leave the comfy chairs, and my cue to pounce on one of their laps and hold them down. So yeah, I’d say holding things down is my strongest skill.
My second-most valuable strength is food control. Over the years, I’ve helped dispose of mountains of kibble. No matter how often my people fill the bowl, I empty it. It doesn't matter if I'm full, because I take pride in doing my job. Sometimes I even beg for more, just to be a team player. I wonder where all that chow comes from and what would happen if I stopped eating. I suppose my people would be buried beneath several tons of cat food.
I do a lot of other things around the house, like marking all the clean windows with nose prints so birds don’t accidentally fly into them and get hurt. I love birds, and I know my people would be pretty freaked to see them crashing into our windows. Sometimes, just to be sure, I make a clicking sound in my throat to warn birds about the windows. This job is pretty awesome. I love what I do.
And now, after all these years of reliable service, I’ve landed a promotion. I didn’t even know I was being considered, honestly. But it's official: I’m going to be a mentor, with my very own kitten to train. I don't know her learning style yet, so I’m going to try to play it cool and let our lessons progress naturally. I’ll lead by example and hope that she's open to suggestions. I've got a lot of material to go over. Her success as a cat is in my paws.
Wish me luck!
Note from Lisa: Special thanks to the volunteers at Friends of the Mustang Animal Shelter, who fostered our kitten until we adopted her.
About Me (and my cats)
In January, 2018, my sassy tortoiseshell cat Oliva hijacked my blog. Padron, my easygoing tabby cat, soon followed her example. I did nothing to stop them because I thought they had some pretty interesting things to say. In April, Oliva died. To say we miss her is a pathetic understatement. She was sweet and bossy and unforgettable. And while I'll allow Padron to continue blogging from time to time, I think he needs to share this space with me. It's my blog, after all. Stay tuned for posts from me, the human running this site.